Tuesday, December 18, 2007
I stare into the mirror in disbelief.
I can't understand this person glaring back at me.
Looking into that reflection,I see a person hiding feelings of doubt, pain, and worthlessness.
I see a person too hurt for words to describe, too hurt to remain alive.
I see a person so lost and confused,not knowing what to do.
She does the only thing she knows how.
Secludes herself from the world.
Keeping herself hidden from the people who judge,The people who stab,
The people who don't even realize they are hurting her like they are.
Night after night she sits alone in her room,
Head buried under her pillow crying the night away.
Tears of pain,Tears of sorrow,Tears of confusion and aggravation,
Tears for all the times she's ever been hurt.
The piled up emotions kept deep inside,Thrashing at her soul,
Engraving words of lies and deception on her heart.
Each night spent alone,Thinking of unwanted thoughts brings her closer
to the fate she knows one day will come.
Thinking how she can get away and leave this place without upsetting her friends,
A way she can leave that will leave a lasting imprint
on those who have caused her heart to finally snap,
A way she can quietly slip away fromthe very existence she fears most.
Living each day in fear of the next.
I wish the end would just come today,I'm sick of living life like this.
Sick of always being the target oftheir opinions.
The concrete ideas people have;
Always deepening my level of self-hatred and my longing to drift away.
One day they will see...
And will understand what it's like to be me.
